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Bryden's is home to Bloor West Village's Coziest Pub
ARCHIVE Winter 2010 Season SPRING LEAGUE LEADERS
GOALTENDING
YEAR-END BANQUET AND BBQ, FRIDAY MAY 14TH. 676 BERESFORD AVE!
NOTES FROM WEEK THIRTY-ONE Points (top 10): Billy Gilles - 72 Mike Wright - 47 Kevin Tobin - 47 Neil Lyons - 44 Steve Ireland - 42 Mike Sheridan - 41 James Rutherford - 41 Mark Humphrey - 39 Mike Lackey - 39 Aaron Aikeda - 37 Goals: Billy Gilles - 42 (impressive in only 26 games) Steve Ireland - 24 (Bit of a drop off in the second half with only 9, but hit the most posts in league history) Mike Wright - 24 (Impressive for an old man) Neil Lyons - 21 (Impressive a rookie) Kevin Tobin - 20 (See Mike Wright) Assists: Billy Gilles - 30 Mike Lackey - 29 Kevin Tobin - 27 James Rutherford - 26 Aaron Aikeda - 26 Goals Against: Gordie - 3.63 Paul - 4.59 Mayberry - 4.67 Freisen - 5.42 
2010 SPRING LEAGUE CHAMPS! NOTES FROM WEEK THIRTY **Note** Final starts 10 minutes early!! 9:20...Final! The two teams took two very different paths to get there, but the two combatants have been determined for this week final. While the Muffin Stuffers rolled through the regular season with a record point total, the Leggers often looked to be stuggling to find their game, posting a dissapointing 6-5-1 record. In the playoffs however, rolls were reversed and whilst the Stuffers struggled to win their semi-final round (needing to use their tie-breaking advantage in a barnburner against the lowly Stirfry), the Leggers rolled over their much older opponents in their semi 11-4. So, the question is; what teams will show up for the final? One factor may be players that we know will definitely not be there. The Straight Leggers will be missing Kevin Tobin which will hurt their offence and The Stuffers will sorely miss Barry and perhaps Craig Young who will be coming in to town of a 7:30 flight-hurting their defence corps. See you at George Bell - good seats still available!!!!!!!! NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-EIGHT PlayoffsSo that's it, all the talking is done and it's time to get the playoffs rolling. This half we are doing a two-game total-goal format (please note "total goal" not total point). The matchups are, as was already determined last week, The Straight Leggers vs The Silverbacks and The Stirfry vs. The Muffin Stuffers. Check the Schedule for game times. Ombudsmen to be In Attendence In order to better deal with disputes during the playoffs, ombudsmen will be standing on the benches to make decisions. They will able to call; - Goal or no goal We realize the official doesn't have the best angle of the goal but he will able to talk to any players that do and use his own feel for it. Please don't argue with the ombudsman as his decision is final and it's a waste of breath. - Penalty shots - He will call a penalty shot on any blatant penalty that takes away a good scoring chance. - Score - He will also keep track of the score and communicate that to everyone on the ice. It seems like several different people have several different scores at any one time during a BHL game. Keep May 14th Open!! It's not written in stone as of yet but it looks as if the year-end banquet will be held on Friday May 14th (two week after the season ends). May 8th is another possible date. Attendence, of course, is mandantory but judging from how much fun we had last year, you don't want to miss it anyway. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-SEVEN Playoffs Match-ups SetNext week - the last week of the regular season - will prove to be meaningless in the standings. The Muffin Stuffers have run away with first place and will play the Swansea Stirfry who will be an easy mark if they can't find some of their absent roster. And, despite the fact that The Silverbacks can tie for second with a victory combined with a Straight Leggers loss, the latter would finish second by winning the tie-breaker (heads up record). The two vs. three series should prove to be a classic betwixt these age-old rivals. Leaderboard Likes Mikes Just noticed that 4 of the top 7 scorers in the league go by the Christian name Mike, with Mikes Wright, Topping, Lackey and Sheridan. Yeah, it's a slow week for news. Keep May 14th Open!! It's not written in stone as of yet but it looks as if the year-end banquet will be held on Friday May 14th (two week after the season ends). May 8th is another possible date. Attendence, of course, is mandantory but judging from how much fun we had last year, you don't want to miss it anyway. The Three Stars of Week Twenty-Seven 1. Neil Lyons Neil racked up his second consecutive hat-trick and powered the Leggers to their second straight win. 2. Mike Lackey Too Humble - that's the only reason that this is the fist time Lackey has been named a star this season (has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I haven't even come close to deserving one til this point). 3. Chris Dymond A hat-trick in a brave attempt to get a win despite only having 6 skaters this week. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-SIX Where Have All the Stirfry Gone?David Lee Roth said it best - and there is no doubting that this club would find themselves in a much heathier position in the standings if they could find the answer. In week twenty-six they were once again severely out-manned 12-8 but still managed to put in a respectable showing losing 3-1. Silverbacks Sunk In a monumental (perhaps a tad exagerated) battle for second place, The Straight leggers took down arch-rivals The Silverbacks 5-3 this week. After building a 4-0 lead thanks to Neil Lyons hat-trick, the Leggers went back into a shell that they are unfortunately all to familiar with and the Silverbacks crept back to 4-3. Jesse Rupert, however, put a dagger in the hearts of Siverback nation with his first goal in his first game after being moved to forward. The Victory could turn out to be even bigger in the event that these two teams wind up in a tie (which they are now) at the end of the regular season, as The Straight Leggers have won the season series. The Three Stars of Week Twenty-six 1. Gord Mchesney Baby Blue were hungry this week and the Muffin Stuffers had a poor showing in front of him so Gordie had to come up big and he did. 2. Neil Lyons Huge hat-trick in a huge game for the Straight Leggers. 3. Mike Topping Stalwart defence and 3 points for Topping in the biggest game of the year. If that's the case, why not a higher star rating you ask? A - I don't really care for the guy. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-FIVE Stirfry Winning Streak CookedJames Rutherford and his Swansea Stirfry looked like they had turned a lost season around 180 degrees when they burried the Straight Leggers last week to climb into within one point of second place. That was however, until poor attendence once again burned The Stirfry and they lost this week 11-1 to the Silverbacks. Leggers Get Out-Legged In a spirited and at times, heated battle, the Muffin Stuffers pulled out a narrow win vs. the hard-luck Straight Leggers. The Leggers have had the lead in each of the past 5 games but have only managed to win one of those encounters. The Three Stars of Week Twentyfive 1. Mike Wright Three goals and three more assists to lead his team to a thrashing of the Stirfry and move him into second place in league scoring. 2. John Gedney After being much-critisized for his aged picks in the draft, captain Gedney has found the foutain of youth this half. Five points this week. 3. Steve Ireland Ireland has been suffering from the sophmore jinx this, his second season. After winning league MVP in his rookie campaign, Ireland has been hitting posts, crossbars and goalies chests all second half. 3 big assists in a 4-2 win over the Straight Leggers will hopefully bring Steve back into form. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-FOUR League Evening Out for Stretch RunWith 5 weeks remaining in the regular season, it appears that the four teams have leveled off and games are becoming tighter. With The Muffin Stuffers losing their last two and The Stirfry winning their previous two games, the standings have bunched up with only 1 points separating 2nd and fourth. The Three Stars of Week Twentyfour 1. Matt O'Brien Obie has rarely been seen in babyblue this second half. "It just doesn't suit my eye color" said a visibly upset O'brien following his hat-trick performance this week; "I know I can contribute like this every week but I just don't feel comfy in bablyblue". 2. Graham James Two big goals for the youngster has lead to the biggest headlines for that names since...um...forget it. . 3. Danny Polito Obviously inspired by the defunct Italian/Canadian hockey league which once graced the ice of George Bell, Polito posted 3 assists and a second consecutive 3rd star. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-THREE Undeafeated Season Ends in a Cloud of ControversyThe Muffin Stuffers dream of matching the 1972 Miami Dolphins and completing the perfect season has come to a crashing and unlikely halt. By "Crashing" we mean all the crashing going on in the Stuffers dressing room following the game and by "unlikely" we're reffering to the lowly Swansea Stirfry who played spoilers. For the second consecutive game betwixt these two rivals, a disputed goal or two were pivotal in the outcome. After review, the league determined that since the Stuffers got the win three weeks ago under similar circumstances, the Stirfry would be awarded the two points this week*. *The fifth and deciding goal will not be counted in the stats or against any goalies G.A.A. The Three Stars of Week Twentythree 1. Chris Freisen After leading his team to the championship in each of the first two seasons, you can't blame Chris for taking a bit of a breather in the first half. He looks to have regained championship form. 2. Al Kacharski Well, it looks as if yet another of Mike Sheridan's brilliant late round picks has decided to prove to the other captians were wrong to over-look him. With 3 points, Charse joins team-mate and fellow late-rounder Kevin Tobin near the top of the leaderboard. 3. Danny Polito Polito has continued to show patience this season with his new team. You couldn't blame the big Italian(?) for being a tad miffed - after all - he is coming off a championship which he captained. But Danny has persevered and managed to notch a couple points in the Stirfry's second win. NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-TWO Week Twentytwo a Weak WeekWith several BHLers already out of town and Canada's big semi-final game vs. the Slovaks on the tube, attendance was sparse in week twentytwo. So sparse for the second game in fact, the Stirfry forfeited. The 8:30 matchup looked to be a romp too when the Muffin Stuffers were only able to ice 7 skaters against the Straight Leggers. However, with some stellar goaltending from Gordie and another hat-trick from Billy Gilles, the Stuffers were able to maintain their perfect record with a come from behind 4-3 win. Halfway Through the Second Half... 
Well, we're six games into our twelve game second season
(precisely half way) and our
computers are telling us that this would be one of the best times (if not the best time)
to do a half season review......The Perfect Muffins A perfect 6-0 start for the pre-season favorite Muffin Stuffers tops our list for season accomplishments to date. Captain Billy Gilles also contiues to be an emerging story in this second season. After winning the scoring race in the first half, Billy finds himself with a sizable lead once agian. The Stuffers also appear to be on pace for the most questionable, pedestrian, second assists ever claimed in any league - anywhere. ...Cooked Stirfry A miserable start for the Swansea Stirfry has only gotten worse as the season has progressed. Game five saw the club, with only 7 skaters, fall 12-1 to the Straight Leggers. Even worse, they were unable to ice a team in game six resulting in the first ever league forfeit. Things can only get better in the second half as the Stirfry look for the return of injured forward Ross Anderson and improved play from some of the top draft picks. 
...Bar has Been Set by First Half Banquet On Sunday, January 17th the first season banquet was a smashing success at Mike Lackey's humble abode. Home-Brewed beer, Tash's homecooked chile, a thrilling second-half draft and 
an exciting awards ceremony highlighted one of the biggest male-genetallia fests this side of
the Mississippi. Many of the Bi-Curious in the league can't wait for the hockey to end so the
bigger and better
year end banquet can kick-off; "I love partying with a bunch of men" said Dave Dubbin, who was
nominated for 'best guy in the showers'; "Not since my clown days have I seen that much
zaniness!"...Johnny Bon Johnny! Another tumultuous season for the fan favorite has hit an all-time high. After blowing his top in a fight with Mild-mannered Mark Humphrey, verbally assulting real-estate agent Chris Thompson and retiring, Bon Johnny is scoring at a point-a-game pace. "I owe it all to the good Lord" said the impossibly good looking Stuffers' forward after stepping off the ice following a 3 assist performance recentely; "If I continue to say my prayers and Ireland and Billy keep burrying pucks after I touch them, I feel it will continue." NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-ONE FIVE. AND. O.!For the first time in league history a team has gotten off to a 5-0 start. This week, missing first overall pick Steve Ireland, the Stuffers looked venerable but they were still able to beat the aged Silverbacks with timely goals and an impressive performance from a drunk goaltender. Where Have All the Srirfry Gone? Captain James Rutherford and a select few were left high and dry by teammates (you know who you are) in week twenty one. With a mere 7 skaters, the Stirfry were burried 12-1 by a relentless Straight Leggers squad. 
The Three Stars of Week Twenty-one1. Kevin Tobin Sure his team heavily out-manned the Stirfry but 6 points is still first star worthy. 2. Mike Sheridan Mike ruffled some feathers on the Stirfry when he hammered home his forth goal of the game on a one-timer to make the score 12-1. When asked to comment on what he thought of the protests Mike responded apologetically; "Bite me!" 3. Johnny Bon Johnny The early run-away favorite for "comback player of the year" Johnny has come all the way back from near retirement in October and an embarrasing "pants down" moment at the mid-season banquet. Johnny tallied no less than 3 assists in week twenty one and inched closer to the stats leader board.
NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY Muffin Stuffers RollingTheir margins of victory are getting smaller, but nobody has been able to defeat the juggernaught that appears to be The Muffin Stuffers. Racking up their fourth consecutive victory, The Stuffers used a similar formula - get a hat-trick from captain Billy Gilles and then pad the win with a healthy spread of scoring. Leggers Lose Because Lackey Absent At the risk of sounding self-involved, pompous and more likely, entirely wrong, the Straight Leggers dropped their week 4 game because Mike Lackey was away. The Three Stars of Week Twenty 1. Billy Gilles Missed the three stars last week so thought he better notch a hat-trick and lead his team to a win. Hate this guy. 2. Dave I know I've been told it on a couple of occasions but I can't remember Dave's last name. Maybe it's one of those really long Indian last names like Parajulajumjabhulagong or something - but Dave doesn't look very Indian - so I'm not about to just guess at something like that. 3. Pete Lackey The unheralded d-man played his usual solid defensive game and added the game winner in his team's first victory. NOTES FROM WEEK NINETEEN No Stories From Week NineteenWe, at the B.H.L. website, have an embarrasing confession to make today my friends. The sad fact is, if we don't get down to business in the first day or two following Friday night hockey we can barely remember what happened. As an unhappy concequence, the accuracy of our reporting inevitably suffers. On occassion details/minor things/quotes/entire stories have been fabricated to fill this space in a pathetic attempt to deceive you - the loyal reader. Well today, after going up to London for a crazy 40th birthday bash and then coming home to a Superbowl party on Sunday, we don't have the brainpower or creativity to make stuff up. The Three Stars of Week Nineteen 1. James Rutherford After scoring only one goal in each of the first two games Captain James' stirfry erupted for 9 in week 3. James sported 5 points. 2. Barry Looks like Barry has found a nice spot alongside Billy on the Muffin Stuffers first line. 3. Dave Dubbin Dubbin only had one goal but was smart/lucky enough to roll into Brydens while I was doing the three stars and managed to whine his way into number three. NOTES FROM WEEK EIGHTEEN Tobin on a TearKevin Tobin was noticeably overwrought when he walked into the draft night festivities and learned that he wasn't drafted until the fifth round. He quickly became more agitated when he learned he was taken after the decrepit Mike Lackey, the oft-drunk Aaron Ikeda and the grossly unfit Mike Mayberry. "I finished the first half 7th in league scoring man!" pined Tobin, "What else do I have to do!" Well, Tobin has started the second half obviously out to prove the captains wrong notching 3 points in each of the first two games. Billy Breaks Backs! In a tight, fast paced match up of the two pre-season favorites, The Stuffers managed to outlast a resiliant Silverback squad to skate to a 6-4 victory in week two. Captain Billy Gilles again led his Stuffers with an impressive 5 points. The game was close until late when the older Silverbacks couldn't keep up with the relentless attack. The Three Stars of Week Eighteen 1. Billy. Another first star after a hat-trick and five point night. 2. Kevin Tobin. Figured in on all three goals for the victorious Straight Leggers. 3. Mike Mayberry Following up on a questionable-at-best opening night performance, Mayberry held the fort and allowed only one by him in week two. NOTES FROM WEEK SEVENTEEN Guerrerro Goaling Good as GoldAfter being the last goalie selected in last Sunday's entry draft, Paul Guerrerro vowed he was going to rise up off his mattress (as they proverbally say down at the Sleep Country Canada) and prove everybody wrong. In the first game, at least, it appears that Paul's re-focus is working as he stoned the Straight Leggers on several golden opportunities. Muffin Stuffers Bake Stirfry In the first every matchup of food based team names (and hopefully one of the last) the pre-season favorite Muffin Stuffers flexed their offensive muscle against a undermanned Swansea Stirfry in a 7-1 triumph. The deep squad spread the scoring aroung too and sent a message that are certainly the team to beat this half season. The Three Stars of Week Seventeen 1. Billy. Picking up where he left off, Billy managed 4 points in the first game, taking an early lead on his way to a possible 2nd consectutive scoring title. 2. Mike Sheridan. The Staight Leggers team captain score two late goals to bring his team back to even and salvage a point. 3. Paul Guerrero Solid tending and main reason the thin Silberbacks got a point. 2009 Fall Season Bryden's Hockey League FALL LEAGUE LEADERS
GOALTENDING
**Note**Goaltending stats only count for games played with regular team. BLUMPKIN
THE RON BURGUNDYS
THE BLOOR WEST VILLAGE PEOPLE
THE SWAMP DONKEYS
NOTES FROM WEEK SIXTEEN
The Year of the Donkey!
 Way back in late August, when Danny Polito chose his team at Brydens, sceptics felt that they
would suffer from champions hangover. After all, the team was comprised of six members of last years champs. The truth, however, was that while
Polito used that nucleus to build the team around, new blood would utimately propel them to the finals. In the finals, Polito and the rest of The Swamp Donkeys would face a formidible challenge in the first place Bloor West Village People. Lead by league top-scorer Billy Gilles and forth leading scorer James Rutherford, The Village People found themselves in the final after marching through the regular season at the top of the standings from start to finish and crossing the speedbump of The Ron Burgundys in the semis. The game started out good enough for the slightly favored Village People when young sniper (and renown heart-throb in his native Italy)Brandon Prospero notched his first goal of the playoffs. 
Things started unravelling for the people shortly after when the skill of the Donkeys began to take over the game. In a 15 minute stretch, mid-way through
the game, the Donkeys got goals from Drew Easton, a beauty from leading scorer Steve Ireland, Junction Joe and captain Polito. The four goals would prove to
be enough ultimately, but not without standout goaltending from Chris Friesen. After goals from Barry and captain Aaron Ikeda (a nice backhead into the top
of the net) made the score 4-3, James Rutherford stood in front of the goal, puck on his stick, with nothing but the back of the yawning cage in front of
him. As he released the disc, the Village People bench began to celebrate and prepare for the upcoming shoot-out. But Freisen would have none of it -
lunging across his crease - and gloving the shot and, ultimately, his second consectutive championship.
Banquet and Draft Reminder... The cleverly named "First half banquet and second half draft" will still be held Sunday January 17th at Lackey's place - 676 Beresford Ave. Beer, chile and awards will be provided. Hope to see everyone there. The Three Stars of Week Sixteen 1. Chris Freisen Once again, the little goalie with the big heart came up huge in the final and preserved the cup for his mates. 2.Mike Topping Sure Topping is over the hill, but he proved he can still be a defensive stalwart if need be throughtout the playoffs. 3.Junction Joe Easily the most improved player this season, Joe scored the Donkey's third goal and then assisted on Polito's winning goal. NOTES FROM WEEK FIFTEEN
Donkeys Blow Blumpkin!! (out)
In a slight upset, The Swamp Donkeys emphatically disposed of Blumpkin in the first semi final 7-1. Either Jeff Newman's troops were unprepared or drunk (or both) because, before the game was 10 minutes old, the Donkeys held a 4-0 lead. From their, the Danny Polito led club played smart hockey and clogged up the neutral zone. Not to give The Village People any ammo for next week's final game, Polito chose his words carefully when asked to comment; "Are you kidding? We're gonna kill those losers! This is pretty close to the same dressing room that took the championship last year, plus Steve Ireland, those inbreds in baby blue have no chance!" People Squeak Through Minus the truculent Young brothers, the Ron Burgundys were given little chance against the first place Village People. However, the regular season bottom-feeders owed a 3-1 lead, and the majority of puck possession, with only 10 minutes remaining. They were unable to hold on, however, as reagular season leading scorers Billy Gilles and James Rutherford notched a couple clutch goals to put the people into the final next week. Billy Wins Scoring Title Leading from game one, Billy Gilles has taken the scoring title for the first half of the season with 33 points and 18 goals. Playoff stats aren't going to count (mainly because the losing teams didn't feel like filling them out). Congrats Billy! Banquet and Draft Reminder... The cleverly named "First half banquet and second half draft" will still be held Sunday January 17th at Lackey's place - 676 Beresford Ave. Beer, chile and awards will be provided. Hope to see everyone there. The Three Stars of Week Fifteen 1. Steve Ireland The Swamp Donkey's star center scored a hat-trick and lead his mates to a convincing victory. 2.James Rutherford Justified his first overall selection by captain Aaron Aikida by scoring the tying and winning goals. 3.Billy Gilles Checked into the ice most of the night, Billy still managed to pot 2 on his way to the final. NOTES FROM WEEK FOURTEEN
Blumpkin Take Second!
Blumpkin was able to ride the netminding of the beleaguered Mike Mayberry and an early 4-0 lead to victory in the final regular season game. No big deal you say? Well think again bucko, the win, combined with The Swamp Donkeys' 7-5 loss earlier in the evening means that the "Orange Army" own the tie breaker in the semi-final. Still think it's no big deal? Well, I guess it isn't really, I mean in the big picture - global warming, terrorism, life and death - all seem like bigger deals come to think of it. Playoff Format Explained So There Are No (We* Mean No) Complaints As stated above, the first and second place teams are rewarded for their remarkable performances in the regular season by getting the tiebreaker. Therefore, Swamp Donkeys and Ron Burgundys will have to win their games outright to make the final. Speaking of the final, it will be run the same as last year - the broze metal game will wind up at 9:20 - giving the final extra time in the event we need a shootout to decide (last year we did). The final game's buzzer will sound at 10:25, regarless of score. If the game IS tied there will be time for a shootout. *By "We" I mean me and Craig Dubbin Lays Into League Official In a bizarre turn of events, soft spoken Swamp Donkey power forward and former clown Dave Dubbin unleashed a verbal tirade directed at league commissioner Mike Lackey in week fourteen. It is unclear what Dubbin was upset about however, as he was far too out of breath to properly form words. It kinda sounded like; "What the f*&% are you doing you peice of S%$#!" But come to think of it, he may have just been seeing if Lackey was going to the bar after the game. Please ignore this article. Hump Stabs League In Back! Mark Humphrey has become the first BHLer to turn down a selection for captaincy. Humphrey tried to handle the denial diplomatically when he posted on his website; "It was a great honor to be selected, however, at this time my personal obligations are first in foremost in my life. I love all my fans and I hope I haven't dissapointed anyone." The league, on the other hand, didn't see it as cut and dry; "The guy is a jerk," said league spokesman Mike Lackey; "Plus, he's a loser". Humphrey responded to the league with a witty and well-timed "I know you are but what am I?" The Three Stars of Week Fourteen 1. Mike Sheridan The recent move to defense seems to have helped the Burgundys and - ironically - Sheridan's offense. 2.Mike Mayberry For the first time this season, Mayberry has earned a star for something other than staying away from the rink. The puffy goalie kept his tired troups in the game and led them to a second place finish after starting the season 0-4. 3.Mike Wright Tight's hat-trick was enough offense for Blumpkin to win. NOTES FROM WEEK THIRTEEN
Digest This!
The New Years day games will prove to be vital for several playoff scenarios. Keep in mind that the first and second place team have a distinct advantage in the semi-finals as they would qualify for the final in the event of a tie. Village People With a victory or a tie vs. Blumpkin The People can secure first place and a desirable matchup with the hapless Ron Burgundys. Swamp Donkeys The Donkeys need to defeat Ron Burgundys on New Years day plain and simple. If they do, they will ensure the extra goal advantage in the semis. If they don't win and Blumpkin does, Blumpkin will have the advantage in the semis. Blumpkin See above. Blumpkin need to win and hope Ron Burgundy can muster a win vs. the Donkeys. Ron Burgundys Blumpkin are destined to finish last and have the disadvantage in the semis. They can play spoiler, however, vs. The Donkeys Should be a fun few weeks. Pascoe Named Playoff Ombudsman Following a vast and oft-exhausting search, the B.H.L. has named the original front-runner and in fact, only candidate - Jeff Pascoe as playoff Ombudsman. "I'm extremley honored to except the postition," said a visibly titillated Pascoe when introduced at last night's press conference; "And, the fact that I have no clue what 'Ombudsman' means, isn't gonna slow this cowboy down!!" For the record, Jeff will be standing off-ice in the upcoming playoff games to settle any disputed goals or potential penaly shots. He will NOT be responsible for off-sides or penalties. Or the sad state of your life for that matter. Village People Beat up on Undermanned Burgundys The Bloor Westers showed little sympathy in pounding the seven member Ron Burgundys in week 13. The Burgudys were missing superstars Jeff Marek (Pottery class), Captain and leading scorer Kevin Tobin (Ballet), Paul Meier (Having nails done), Steve Pelton (Brazilian wax) and goalie Gord Mchesney (Shoulder). Blumpkin Blowout! Blumpkin continued to send a message to the rest of the hockey world last week by potting another 9 goals enroute to a 9-6 victory over the Donkeys. On the downside however, team captain Jeff Newman was informed that star center Mark Humphrey whould be missing his second consecutive league final after booking his January vacation through Lackey travel. The Three Stars of Week Thirteen 1. Mark Jungjohann The Village People defenceman, German citizen and suspected neo- nazi had a remarkable 4 goals on 4 shots. 2.Jeff Newman The speedy winger notched 5 points playing alongside his girlfriend Hump.* 3. Graham Smith. Smith was the "architect"** of a two goal performance. *Zello made me write that. **If you're confused by the quotes around architect here don't worry - you're not alone. See, what I've incorporated in my writing here is a delicious and mischievous pun! It seems our friend Graham is an architect by profession, yet I've taken that what he calls a profession and placed in smack-dab in the midst of a hockey story. Rejoice in halarity. NOTES FROM WEEK TWELVE
Mid Season Banquet/Draft
League officials have sheduled the mid-season banquet for Sunday January 17th at 3pm. It will be 2 days after the first-half season ends so the trophy will be brandished about by the winning team no doubt. Several awards will handed out Also, we will hold the draft for the second-half season. The captains are scheduled to be Billy Gilles, John Gedney, James Rutherford and Mike (don't call me Sullivan) Sherridan. Food and beer will be provided but if if you want to play Twister you'll have to bring your own. Fit to be Tied For the first time in 24 games we had a tie last week between the co league leaders - The Swamp Donkeys and The Village People. Controversy arose late in the tied game when super-cheater Mike Topping hauled down league leading scorer Billy Gilles as he moved in on a breakaway. "No refs baby!!! Love this game with nobody messin with my moves" said the unsportsmanlike Topping. Two Youngs to Fall in Love A goal from each Young brother proved to not be quite enough for The Rod Burgundys in week 12. The line of Mike Wright, Jeff Newman and Mark Humphrey continued their hot play, leading Blumpkin to a 4-2 victory. The Three Stars of Week Twelve 1. Mike Wright Three points for the roundly disliked winger. 2.Mike Topping. The somewhat deflated defenseman saved a point and a share of the league lead for the Swamp Donkeys by tripping Billy on a breakaway. 3. Tash Sundup. Once again the "Terrible Tibetan" came up big for Blumpkin by not showing up. "I could get used to this" said a beaming Sundup; "I sit around on the couch and have a few beers and I just keep collecting stars! I think I've got a shot a the Molson Three Star cup!" NOTES FROM WEEK ELEVEN
Party Rescheduled
Due to unforseen circumstances the Christmas party has been changed to a mid-season party and will be held on Sunday January 17th - two days after our first final of the season. Details to follow.... Blumpkin Blown Away The up and down season for Blumpkin hit it's nadir in week eleven when they were blown out by the struggling Village People 9-2. It seems that Blumpkin are unable to overcome the absence of any of their top forwards, as they were missing hairy-backed winger John Gedney this week. Aged Burgundys Rolling The already ancient Ron Burgundys became even older a couple weeks back with the signing of Hump's neighbour Dave. The controversial free agent (for more reasons than one) has proven to be a god-send for the hapless club. Dave played some solid defence and added a goal in week eleven as the Burgundys won their second consecutive game after losing 6 straight. The Three Stars of Week Eleven 1. James Rutherford "Young" James notched a hat-trick and added an assist. 2.Steve Pelton. The Burgundys are always glad to see this part timer enter the dressing room. Steve had 4 points, leading his club to their 2nd win in a row. 3. Billy. The league leader in points did it again this week with four more points. NOTES FROM WEEK TEN
Evan Frustaglio Fund
Here's a message from Mike Topping, hopefully we can all throw in a little something; Hey guys, I'm sure everyone saw the news a few weeks ago about the sudden and tragic passing of 13 year old hockey player Evan Frustaglio from the H1N1 flu virus. Some of you also know, but perhaps many don't, that Evan's first cousins with league player Al Kucharski's wife Suzy Kucharski. As a show of support to Suzy, Al and the Frustaglio family the Bryden's Hockey League would like to make donations to scholarships that have been established in Evan's name; one through the Toronto District School Board, the other via the Hill Academy in Vaughn. So this Friday we are asking everyone in the league to bring some extra money to the arena in order to contribute to the fund. By every and ALL accounts Evan was a wonderful young man with a passion for the game that brings us together every Friday night so please do what you can in this effort. Your team captain will be collecting the donations this Friday night and please forward this email to anyone you don't see on this list, as we don't have all addresses. Thanks guys. Mike T. Blowouts Continue! One of the main goals of the Brydens Hockey league is a parody between the teams. But if the first nine weeks of the season are any indication, we have failed miserably in this attempt at equalization. In the first 18 games played there is yet to be a tie. Compared to last season where 3 of the first four games finished in a draw and teams by the end of the year had accumulated 6 or 7 ties each. As a matter of fact, of those same 18 games, only 2, have concluded with a one goal margin - hardly a slew of games coming down to the wire. Nope, 9-2, 9-3 and 7-3 margins are the norm in 2009. This trend contiued in week ten when the Ron Burgundys trounced the receeding Village People 7-4 and then Blumpkin pounded on The Swamp Donkeys 7-2. The Three Stars of Week Ten 1. Jeff Newman Blumkin captain led his line and team with 4 points and a hat-trick. Even more impressive though, Newman withstood a verbal onslaught from Zello later at the bar. 2. Kevin Tobin. More outstanding play from a captain in week ten when Tobin lead his squad to their first win in 6 games by notching 5 points. 3. Mike Wright. The follically-challenged winger posted big points once again as he and his linemates surge up the point leader board. NOTES FROM WEEK NINE
Changes Made to Schedule
I had to make a couple changes to the upcoming schedule. Game times and opponents have changed for the skates on the the 13th and 20th of November because the previous times were screwed up (the schedule maker may have had a few beers). So if you printed out a copy and posted it on the fridge for your wife- and you don't check these valuble pages - and your wife controls your life - you may show up at the wrong time. Get out of the Eightys Grandpa! More Week-off Updates on the Way! If you happen to do anything interesting on the off-week, or know of a teammate who may be doing something cool let us know and we will post it!!! If not, we will just make some cool stuff up. NOTES FROM WEEK EIGHT
New Poll; Fast Updates Matter Little to People who Have no Knowlegde of This Website!
In stark contrast to last weeks late posting, we are really on the ball this week and this special Sunday update is the glorious result. Unfortunately, a new poll has found that the people who don't visit the site (and perhaps not surprisingly come to think of it) could care less. Craig Young Shocks Teammates and Plays In an unbelievable turn of events, Ron Burgundy players were peasantly surprised/ready to quit the league* when defenseman Craid Young walked into the dressing room this week and declared himself fit to play. If you're wondering why they were surprised just scroll down and check out some of the grusome pictures of Younger's torn quadricept from less than two weeks ago. Remarkable. *if you're confused by the wide range of opinions displayed, you would have to understand that Craig brings out a wide range of emotions depending on who you are talking to in the dressing room at any given time. Mid-Point Stats Wrap With more than half the season behind us, we thought it would be a good time to look at league leaders in all the statistical catagories. Points Billy - 21 Hump - 19 Ireland - 15 Despite missing a goodly amount of games, first rounders Mark Humphrey and Steve Ireland are making a big push to the top of the scoring race. Goals Billy - 12 Hump - 12 Ireland - 12 Billy had a big lead in goals until just last week where Hump and Ireland potted 5 and 4 respectively. Should be a great race down the stretch for the Rocket Richard trophy. Assists M. Lackey - 11 P. Lackey - 10 B. Prospero - 10 J. Rutherford - 10 Apparently the Lackey family can't score if their life depended on it (in more ways than one of course). Goaltending C. Freisen - 3.57 G. McChesney - 4.17 P. Guerreuro - 4.43 M. Mayberry - 5.83 A combintation of Mr. Freisen's solid play and the struggles of Gordie have lifted Freisen to the top of the league in wins and G.A.A. at the halfway point. The Three Stars of Week Eight 1. Mark Humphrey 5 goals and 7 points was certainly deserving a first star for the Blumpkin center. 2. Steve Ireland. Tough luck for the Donkey's superstar. Rarely you record 7 points and don't earn first star honors. This could hurt the kid in the Molson Cup Three Star standings.** **note; There are no Molson Cup Three Star standings 3. Chris Freisen. In fairness, Chris probably could have earned a first or second star in each of the last two weeks. Whilst playing his own games and filling in for Mike Mayberry (swine flu) he has won 4 times. These snubbings may hurt Freisen in the Molson Cup Three Star standings if they existed***. ***They still don't. Honorable Mention - Ross Anderson. We've never done this before and it certainly doesn't count toward the mythical Molson Cup Three Star standings****, but Ross had six points this week. ****Queerly, we ironacally have an "Honorable Mention Cup" standings. Ross is in the lead with one honorable mention!! NOTES FROM WEEK SEVEN
Late B.H.L. Website Updates Cause Massive Heartache Poll Finds!
O.K., so lets get this out of the way off the top; it's Thursday and we're finally getting around to updating this site from last Friday night. Sorry man, it was a busy week what with...umm...stuff. A new poll, however, may have just changed the way this office handles the promptness of updating this site. As it turns out, 2% of you are put off by the late updates, 44% could care less and a whopping 51% had no clue this site exists.* More odd facts revealed in our annual poll; 59% of the league really don't have time for Inuit people because they find them smug. 8% believe that dinosaurs are a hoax and 74% admit to wearing women's panties under their equiptment. * the remaining 3% couldn't even be bothered to respond to a poll conducted by a website they've never heard of. More Sickening Pics of Craig Young Leg !!!!**  
**If you have children please take them out of the room...NOW!
NOTES FROM WEEK SIX
Vaunted Village Victory; Sheridan Snakebit
Whilst The Bloor West Village People marched to an impressive fifth win of the season, Ron Burgundy's top pick Mike Sheridan continued to struggle to find the back of the net despite a double digit shot total. When pressed on his scoring slump, Sheridan responded surprisingly candidly; "Yeah, I'm having trouble scoring right now! But I don't really care. I mean, it's only a Friday night beer league! I've got a life - a job - a girlfriend - all you have is this nerdy little pussy league you run with your boyfriend Tash. And that goofy website with all those fake quotes - how much time do you waste on that a week nerd boy! You're almost 40 years old dude. Have you ever even kissed a girl?" Ouch. Hapless Humpless? The good news is that Blumpkin have played well when all of their top picks have shown up. Bad news - they have only all shown up for one game - which they won handily. And this Friday was no different with top pick Mark Humphrey and third choice John Gedney on the sidelines with "undisclosed feminine issues". Young Done The news after the Ron Burgundy's forth consecutive loss only got worse for captain Kevin Tobin when he was contacted by Craig Young (usually enough of day-ruiner unto intself) with word that the star defenseman was likely done for the season. Hospital photos (below) seem to confirm Craig's self diagnosis.  The Three Stars of Week Six 1. Junction Joe. The Donkeys last pick has proven to be a big surpise this season impressing captain Danny Polito at every turn; "To be honest with you I don't really know who you're talking about," raved a elated Polito, "but if you say he scored two goals then cool I guess." 2. Chris Freisen. The reserved goalie and last years Conn Smyth trophy winner for his stellar performance in the playoffs is quietly putting together another solid season. He has led the Donkeys to four consecutive wins. 3. Billy. This "Village Person" is quickly pulling away from the pack in the scoring race. NOTES FROM WEEK FIVE
Bring Your "A" Game!
David Dubbin, Brydens.com's "crack reporter"* has learned from sources that Toronto Maple Leaf scouts will be in attendance this coming Friday night. Apparently the Leaf couching staff is looking primarily for goaltending to help turn arouhd the 0-6 club but will also be "looking for anything else that catches their eye". *Oddly, Dave was dubbed this not because he's a particularly good reporter but due to the fact that his first job in media was reviewing gay bars. Village People Defeated! It took until week five and a very quick start for The Swamp Donkeys last week but the mighty have finally fallen. Blumpkin Bounce Back Blumpkin seem to have finally found their skating legs Friday night. And it was these very aforementioned legs that carried them to a resounding 5-2 win over the suddenly hapless Ron Burgundys. The Three Stars of Week Five 1. Danny Polito. The captain of the Swamp Donkeys led his streaking club to their third consecutive victory notching two goals, including the game winner. 2. Mark Humphrey. Hump's captain, Jeff Newman, has learned to accept small contributions from the second overall pick - such as attendance. This week however, Hump potted a couple big goals for Blumpkin. 3. Tash Sundup. "The Tibetan Terror" as he is referred to by his countrymen, Tash came up big for his club this week when he faked injury after playing only one shift. NOTES FROM WEEK FOUR
Blumpkin Bombed!
It was merely 4 short weeks ago when eminent sports prognosticator Sarah Harrison foresaw Blumpkin running away with the B.H.L. title this season. Today, Jeff Newman's beleaguered club sports a winless record and have been out-scored 27-14 in the process. In week four, The Bloor West Village People surely erased any remaining doubt left in skeptics' minds when they roled to a 8-2 hammering of Blumpkin. Donkeys No Longer Making Asses of Themselves The Swamp Donkeys scratched and clawed their way to a 5-4 victory over the plummeting Ron Burgundys in week four. The win saw the Donkeys even their record at 2-2 and, more importantly, showed everyone, including themselves that they will be a team to be reckoned with this season. Next weeks test will be a real test for the club however when they face the undefeated Village People. "We are going to be ready for that one for sure!" exclaimed confident Donkey captain Danny Polito Satruday night; "We have team saunas and steam baths sceduled throughout the week. One way or another this team is gonna bond!" The Three Stars of Week Four 1. Billy. Much as Cher and Madonna did before him, Billy set the one-named superstar world on fire with 2 goals and 2 assists this week delivering him to the top of the BHL stats page. 2. Chris Freisen. The reserved goalie has been instrumental in tuning the Swamp Donkeys record around by registering wins in each of the last two weeks. 3. Mark Junjohann. Roundly disliked for his German heritage, Junghohann has been a solid anchor for the otherwise young, first place Village People. NOTES FROM WEEK THREE
Village People claim Top Spot
In a battle that saw a couple of undefeated clubs face off, The Village People made a statement to the rest of the league that they were, indeed, for real. Matching youth with a surprising will to bounce back off the floor after trailing by a goal late in the game, "The People" dug their way out and walked away with a 4-3 victory. "I kinda got this problem with, you know, down there, there's alot of pain and - yes - there is puss" It was at this point that this reporter realized he had walked into a conversation completely unrelated to hockey and immediately ceased the interview. Irish Eyes Smiling Danny Polito* had to wait exactly until the third week of the 2009 B.H.L. season to find out why he picked league newcomer Steve Ireland** with his first pick in the entry draft. And if you a regular reader of this space (why wouldn't you be, you really have no life to speak of)*** you will know that Mr. Polito was becoming impatient - to say the least - with his upper echelon selections. However, in week three Ireland, Topping and Obrien** came up big for their captain and led the team to a 6-5 triumph. *Not Irish sounding **Irish sounding ***No offense The Three Stars of Week Three 1. Steve Ireland. Four goals. 2. Brandon Pospero. The youngster had a solid 60 minute skate vs. yet another much older opponent and notched the go ahead goal with 3 minutes to play. 3. Matt Obrien. Despite the fact that Obie has no recollection of actually being on the winning team last season, his name is on the cup and if his play is any indication, he's is want to forget yet another championship. NOTES FROM WEEK TWO
Burgundys Pelt On Blumpkin
Ron Burgundy captain Kevin Tobin was pleasantly surprised to find long time cohort and fellow yard sale enthusiast Steve Pelton available in the seventh round of the entry draft. "To be honest with you I didn't really want him on my team", confessed Tobin, "I mean, I don't particularily care for the guy." But to snag "Pelts" in the seventh was apparently to good to pass up for the captain and it has unequivocally payed off to this point in the season. Playing on a line with his yard sale chum Tobin, Pelton notched 2 nice goals and led his team to a nifty 7-3 win over hapless Blumpkin. Early Season Donkeys Swamp Donkey Captain Danny Polito is confused by his clubs decidedly poor start to the season. "We looked so good coming out of camp." expounds the befuddled skipper, "It may be a little early to say this but I think I truly despise everybody on my team. I mean you pick these guys because you think they might do something for you but no. Nothing. From anybody." Matters worsened for the sordid squad this passed week when top two defenceman Dan Cleary showed up to the rink in a full arm cast. Cleary suffered the injury courtesy of a Craig Young slapper. Which brings the hellion's bone breaking list up to two now. The Three Stars of Week Two 1. Craig Young. The Ron Burgundys' beefcake defender turned offensive this week, notching two big goals. He also was able to finish the game without sending anyone to hospital. 2. James Rutherford. James is working hard to live up to his lofty first overall selection. The pressures of being picked first in the draft are many as Mark Humphrey proved last year when he was forced to take a "stress leave" during the playoffs. 3. Mike Mayberry. Mike gets the nod for a star, not so much for a good performance (as a matter of fact, Mayberry probably couldn't have stopped a beach ball whilst losing two games), but rather for not having a heart attack as he filled in for Chris Friesen. NOTES FROM WEEK ONE
Tobin Atones for Drunken Draft Debacle
The question posed to Ron Burgundy captain Kevin Tobin the morning following draft night was obvious; "Exactly how drunk were you at the bar last night"? Tobin shocked many in attendance when he curiously chose an aged and by all accounts broken down Mike Lackey in the second round. Apparently undaunted by his tipsy tomfoolery, Tobin followed by selecting fellow geriatrics Jeff Marek, Steve Pelton and Zello. "There was only one answer," said a regretful Tobin, "I had to step up to the plate and deliver because I knew none of the bums I picked in my druken stuper were gonna do anything"! And stand up to the plate he did. Tobin (it must be said here is no spring chicken himself), netted a hat-trick and added two assists, leading his club to a convincing 6-1 victory over the heavily favoured Swamp Donkeys. Village People Gay Following Win In a queer turn of events, the opening night of the season saw the underdog but apparently underrated Bloor West Village People pound Bumpkin (stet) 6-4. Blumpkin captain Jeff Newman summed up the loss this way; "We could never penetrate their zone all night. We pushed and pushed but they were sealed up tight. It was a bummer for sure". Stat Flap When the B.H.L. rules commitee decided to add stats to the league's portfolio at this off season's summer summit in Banff, it was an oft-repeated concern that the captains might have trouble being unbiased. Well, it appears that following the first game of the season those worst fears have been realized. The stats man raised a Spockian eyebrow when the first couple stats sheets were handed in and they trumpeted that captains Kevin Tobin and Aaron Aikida both had spectacular nights. As a matter of fact, the pair are first and second respectively in league scoring. Suspicions were further raised when Jeff Newman submitted a stats sheet claiming he had netted a game winner despite the fact his team had lost. Not to be outdone, skepticism down at stat central hit a fever pitch when The Swamp Donkeys submitted a stat sheet claiming captain Danny Polito had somehow managed 3 points and found the cure for cancer despite suffering a 6-1 defeat. The Three Stars of Week One 1. Kevin Tobin. Despite the suspicions surrounding the fact Tobin is the individual submitting his own stats (see "Stat Flap" above), week one proved an impressive 5 point performance for the burly winger. 2. Aaron Aikida. Pretty much same accusatory text as above but "4" in lieu of 5 and "expanding bellied" in place of burly. 3. Gordie McChesney. Great performance in week one from the tight-lipped tender.  2008/2009 Champions - "The Beers" 2008-2009 SEASON Fitting End for Fantastic First SeasonAfter dominating the second half of the regular season, disposing of the High Park Hotplates fairly easily in the semi-finals and finding themselves with a 4-1 lead with merely 10 minutes remaining in the final, you could hardly blame the Jihad for feeling like they had the trophy in the bag. But Jeff Pascoe and the Beers had other ideas. In that infamous last ten minutes of the season (a ten minutes that will surely give Mike Wright and the rest of the Jihad nightmares all summer) Jeff Pascoe netted three goals to tie the score at fours. Beers' goaltender Chris Freisen also made a couple of spectacular saves to keep the Beers in it. After the final buzzer the game went to a shoot-out. The first two shooters failed to score for either team which set the stage for Beers captain Mike Topping to become the hero. Topping didn't dissapoint, deking the goalie and potting the championship winner. The celebration proved to be enthusiastic but respectful as the Jihad looked on from the bench. The celebration will no doubt continue this Saturday when the trophy is officially presented at the league banquet. 8:00 PM 4/6/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-EIGHT ****FINALS SET - MAKE NOTE OF GAMETIME!!! Due to the fact that we can't have an overtime with our regular times, the final is Scheduled for 9:20 Friday night. The game will finish at 10:25 to leave room for a possible shootout. Please note that the game ends at 10:25 regardless of the score. Oh, in case you were wondering, the final matchup is betwixt the Beers and The Jihad. The thrid place game will be played 1st at its regular time (8:30) with the Hotplate and Lama facing off. 11:49 AM 3/28/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-Six Playoffs Set With one week remaining in the regular season, the inaugural B.H.L. playoff matchups are set.The Junction Jihad have wrapped up first spot and have earned the right to face the lowly and struggling High Park Hotplate in a two game - total goal series. With the higher seed, the Jihad will move on to the final in the event of a tie after the two games. In the other semi, the Beers secured home ice advantage over the Llamas with a big win last week vs. the Jihad. Pascoe Out! The Beers star centerman Jeff Pascoe is down and probably out for the year with an upper body injury. The injury occured when Mark "Saranjohann" Jungjohann dragged down Pascoe who was driving to the net. While Pascoe blew the incident off as an "accident", Beers captain Mike Topping wasn't so sure; "I've played with this dirty German for years and he is certainly known as a cheap shot artist. He's hurt guys before and I don't think it's any coincidence that he took out our best forward just before our playoff series. Oh, and I'm the best defeceman in case you were wondering." 11:49 AM 3/28/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-FIVE Sullivan Sullies Hotplate Hoedown Junction Jihad super-center Mike Sullivan sent a league wide message this Friday. "Sully" as he is reffered to by his fellow Jihadists, potted a couple goals and added a couple assists in a 4-1 win for his club vs. the lowly Hotplate. On a night where pudgy forward John Gedney or phallically challenged Mike Wright didn't really showed up for the match, Sullivan secured the victory for his first place club. When website reporters askes Sullivan for his reaction they were surprised to hear; "My names not Sullivan idiot! Sheridan. I repeat, Sheridan. Ya stupid inbred!" Everybody Loves a Beer on a Llama (Beers and Llamas tie one on) In contrast to the ultra-lame headline for this article, this week's match-up betwixt the Beers and The Llamas was pretty entertaining. In all honesty, I can't really remember what happened in the game so.......it finished 2-2. 11:49 AM 3/28/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-FOUR **Event Announcement!** This coming Friday (the 27th), the genitally diminutive duo of Mike Wright and Mike Lackey will be hosting a post-hockey kegger at 676 Beresford Ave. Don't bring any beer. Funnels are expected. Possible squirrel release. Tobin Trick Topples Tibetans Until last weekend the late free agent signing of burly, veteran winger Kevin Tobin looked to be a bust for the Junction Jihad. General Manager Mike Wright hinted at the fact he may be dissapointed in Tobin; "This guy is garbage. Total and utter garbage. I HATE him" In fairness, the winger had played some solid defensive hockey but failed to put up the offensive numbers he had earlier in his career. That all changed in week 24 when "The Tobber" exploded for a natural hat-trick (the first three goals of the game) and led his minions to a 6-2 victory over the Lamas. Following the third marker hats littered the ice in a touching tribute to the grizzled vet. Beers Bomb Bottom-Feeders The last place High Park Hot-Plate looked poised to earn at least a point with only 8 minutes remaining vs. the surging Beers in week 24. But with the score tied 2-2 the Plates once again collapsed and gave up three goals in quick succession. The loss came despite a remarkable poke check by utility defenseman Dave Dubbin on star forward Jeff Pascoe as the latter crossed into the Hotplate zone. 3:26 PM 3/24/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-THREE Hotplate Victory - Quick Website Update Link? There has never been a doubt that, following a Hotplate victory, this space is updated much faster than following a Hotplate loss (for clarification - in the unlikely event someone is reading this who isn't intimately connected to the league - this website's author plays for the Hotplate). The remaining question is why? Is it that, following a win this reporter is all jacked up and excited about his teams' chances (like today for instance - I'm sitting here with an imported beer , feet up on the desk, and I would probably be smoking a big stogie if I had one)? Or is simply a symptom of a rather huge week-long suck out after losses? addendum Just checked the history on the schedule and the last Hotplate victory was on Boxing Day! Wow. Plumbergate! After the final horn on Friday and a surprising 5-2 victory for the Hotplate over the Lamas in the books, conspiracy theories started echoing through the halls of George Bell. As it turns out, the Hotplate's Polish winger Al Kacharski is doing a renovation job at the Lama's Tash Sundup's gaytown (apparently nothing to do with the aforementioned's sexual preference) condo. To make a long story shorter, while Tash was attempting to get his much needed pre-game sleep, Al thought it would be a good idea to send in a plumber who kept Tash awake all day. Al insists it wasn't intentionally done to keep Tash awake but merely "work that had to be done". Whatever the case, the lack of sleep certainly didn't help as Tash played a terrible game. Jihad Jelling With the playoffs only a few short weeks away, the Junction Jihad seem to have left a turbulent regular season behind them and they now clearly have their sites set on the championship. Despite missing star center Mike Sullivan and plucky defenseman Matt Gilbert in week twenty three, the Jihad were able to put 7 pucks behind Beers tender Chris Freisen and extend their lead atop the B.H.L. standing. 7:26 PM 3/14/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-TWO Teams Gearing up for Playoffs Jihad- Despite an uncanny nack for surrendering leads, an awful start to the season and the loss of Johnny Samcoe, the Jihad sit at the top of the standings. They were able to get over the top with an impressive 4-2 win over the hotplate in week 21. When asked how he liked his team, assistant captain and reknown homophobe John Gedney responded; "What do you mean do I like my team"? He continued queerly; "Sure I mean they're a good bunch of guys but do I like them, no way! I don't notice their lean hardbodies in the shower or anything. Back off"! Lamas- The Lamas find themselves in an odd position; second place. The mighty Lama stood atop the standings for 7 consecutive weeks before falling back despite earning a point in a 4-4 draw vs. the Beers. The club is attempting to figure out how to use superstar center Mark Humphrey in an already star studded line-up and they have struggled out of the gates since the blockbuster deal. "I don't know what to say" said an obviously frusterated Tash Sundup folling the team's midweek dryland training session. "I totally rob Lackey with a shrewd move at the deadline, getting rid two bums for the top scorer in the league and Hump just ain't performing." The Beers- Widely beleived to be the most talented team in the league, the Beers have struggled at times this season to find their game. The Jekyll and Hyde rountine has been apparent in each of the last two weeks, both games ending in ties. But captain Mike Topping remains confident that the team can come together in time for playoffs; "We've got a talented group but we're really a down to earth bunch, not an ego on the team." Then Topping paused reflectively; "Except that Pascoe guy, he's pretty full of himself.....oh and Sheehan is a cocky bastard...Tom is quite cocksure now that I think about it....and now that you mention it I think I'm the best player in the league. So maybe that's our problem then!" The Hotplate- The only good news in Hotplate land these days is that every team makes the playoffs. However, the Hotplate have been so completely inept they may defy logic and physics and fail to qualify anyway. Key injuries to speedy, young forwards Ross Anderson and James Rutherford have left the team looking slow, tired and old. High Park defenseman Zello Jovanovic, however, has tried to remain optomistic through the freefall to the bottom of the standings; "I just kept hoping that I would be traded. Every time my phone rand on deadline day I was hoping it was the league office informing I had been moved, you know, to a good team. But no. Now I just hope for a season ending injury to get me away for this trainwreck!" 4:45 PM 3/12/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY-ONE BLOCKBUSTER Well, it took awhile, but when the first trade in league history went down last Friday it sure was a doozie. In a move that is still resonating throughout the league today, The Hotplate sent first overall draftpick Mark Humphrey, Ian Young and Dave Pukulski to The Lammas for Bruising defenceman Craig Young, burely winger Alex Kacharski and the rights to Johnny Bednar. Critics of the deal have said that the Lammas won the swap hands-down, claiming that Hotplate G.M. Erica Dymond was backed into a corner with her teams recent weak play that has seen them fall well back in the standings. However, Hotplate officials have defended the trade; "Look you never want to part with a guy like Hump." said a spokesman, "But we feel like it was time to change the attitude in the room and Mr.s Young and Kacharski certainly do that". Meanwhile, Tash Sundup and the Llama are estatic with what they have called a "coo". "We never imagined we could have added a player like Hump at this point in the season," claimed an elated Tash "they must have got real desperate over there in High Park!" Other captains seem to agree with Tash - Mike Topping called the deal "a joke", whilst Mike Wright was beside himself, saying "Looks like the Hotplate are trying to hand the Lama the championship"...only time will tell. 3:45 PM 3/1/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK TWENTY Lama Bake Hotplate In a game that saw Lama forth liner "Junction" Joe Nigrini net two goals, the Hotplate were completely outmatched from the opening faceoff and were blown out 7-1. Joe's first goal was off a lovely one-timer which he knocked out of the air to the back of the net. Joe's goal boon has led to speculation that he is using performance enhancers to get ahead. At least one source claims that Joe has spent some time in power skating classes during the week - a scandal that the fledgeling league obviously wants no part of. Beers Battle Back The Junction Jihad - in what seems to be a weekly occurance - lost a two goal lead in the last 5 minutes and surrendered a point to the resurgent Beers. The game saw the return of Mike Mayberry to the net for The Jihad after missing 9 weeks with a knee injury. Mayberry turned in a solid performance and could surely not be blamed for either of the late goals, both of which were deflected in. 12:37 PM 2/24/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK NINETEEN With no skate in week Nineteen, the staff thought it would be interesting for fans to get a glimpse into the off-ice lives of some of their on-ice heroes. While most stars used the week to rest up nagging injuries or spend much needed time with family, the following stories reveal what a select few of the more adventuresome B.H.L.ers got up to.*please note*None of the following accounts are based on actual fact, merely the result of many hours reviewing actuarial tables as to their relative plausability. Jeff Pascoe (The Beers) Goes to Brydens hoping to meet up with his captain and hero Mike Topping. When Topping fails to show, Pascoe orders another Hoegarden and sobs to Dubbin (See Dave Dubbing {Hot Plate} below) "Now who will be my Valentine!?" Craig Young (Llamas) Discovers on trip to Cuba that he seems to commuicate better with the Spanish-only speaking natives than people at home. All is going well until "Pedro" the bartender retains eye-contact with Craig for more than 4 seconds. This obvious sign of disrespect leads to a brawl. Dave Dubbin (Hot Plate) Goes to Brydens with Pascoe. Quickly speaks to every single girl in the bar (doesn't take long because there is only one - a conversation which may or may not have ended with a slap). Later, he is happy to see a teammate walk into the bar. However, Dubs is disappointed when Ian (See Ian Young {Hotplate} below} seemingly fails to recognize him. Tash Sundup (Llamas) Tash spends a romatic pre-Valentines evening at home alone with the dogs. His Pug Wedge kinda snubs Tash on the couch and goes and lies in the kitchen. Later, the Border Collie Lucky explains to Wedge that it's Valentines Day and he really should be nicer to Tash. Mike Wright (Jihad) Mike spends the night at Brydens as well. He is accompanied by a whole slew of really small people. Mike likes hanging with the little people because he can pretend that he's a giant! Ian Young (Hot Plate) Ian spends several hours after work drinking beer. By the time he arrives at Brydens he has gone into full squinting mode. When he meets Dubbin he has no idea who he is despite playing on the same team for 5 months now - breaking Dubbins heart in the process. Finally, Ian squints hard enough to recognize somebody - "HEY, IT'S TIGHT"! Unfortunately, Tight is feeling too high and mighty (an unfavorable side effect of hanging out with midgets all night) and won't speak to Ian. 1:43 PM 2/14/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK EIGHTEEN Jihad Flounder Minus Captain Since he was in the womb, Junction Jihad captain Mike Wright has fought for every scrap he's ever had. Oh yes, since an unmerciful God placed him in such 'tight' quarters with his evil twin Pete, Mike's competitive fire has burned! Early ultrasounds showed the brothers actually attempting to strangle each others' ambilical cords to cut off the life giving nutrients from their mother. As Children, despite sporting equally extraordinarily diminutive genetalia the twins would fight each other tooth and nail. Today, Mike brings this competitive edge to the rink every week and, indeed, every shift. So it is little surprise that, in his absence last week, his team lost a 5-2 lead and skated to a 6-6 tie with the last place Hotplate. Llamas Led to Water but Can't Drink Beers. What else can be said about a game that hasn't already been made so perfectly clear in the poignant and convoluted headline. NOTES FROM WEEK SEVENTEEN Beer Too Strong for Hump-less Hotplate Before the game started, team captain Topping gathered his troops into a tight group (rumors that this group was, in fact, unclothed and in the shower have not yet been substantiated) and decalared that; "This game is our statement game boys. This is where we start our run!" (At which point, in the unsubstantiated rumor realm, several of the duller members of the team actually started streaking the arena). Well the speech seemed to work because the Beers had a goodly amount of jump thoughout the game and spanked the hapless Hotplate 7-4 in front of their hometown fans (Dubbin had a friend in the stands).* Jihad Victory Moves Them to Top of Standings In probably their most complete game of the season, The Junction Jihad sent a message league-wide that they are for real by beating the first place Llamas. Most importantly for these crazy religious freaks from Keele and Dundas, they seem to have learned how to hold onto a lead. League Trophy Soon to be Unveiled! You've probably been wondering why some guys are trying so hard out there week after week. FAQs tend to be along the lines of; Why is Craig's stick around my neck? Why is Mc "ballon" Naught running me from behind? Or why is Craig still got his stick around my neck? You'd think we're playing for some great prize right? Nope. But there is a trophy. Once again our fine sponsers at Great Lakes have donated "The Great Lakes Cup" which will be awarded anually to the champion of the Brydens Hockey League. It should be ready to admire at the bar in a couple weeks. 7:42 PM 2/3/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK SIXTEEN These notes seem to have gotten lossed in cyberspace. Goes to show ya what happens when you try and update websites after a Superbowl party. I know that one of the articles was quite complimentary about the Beers' Jeff Pascoe - it's removal honestly has nothing to do with the fact he got six points vs. my team in week seventeen. Honestly.NOTES FROM WEEK FIFTEEN ****IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT**** We have just got our second complaint for hanging around in the dressing rooms too long after games. Please make sure to get out of the rooms as quickly as possible. If you're reading this (and if you aren't - why not?) hustle up your teammates for the rest of the season. *Double-secret bonus*When you are hustling a teammate out of the room and he asks why - you can belittle him for not paying attention to this website as well!!!! Tell him he should play in a girls league, or at the very least, a league that doesn't have a cool website. Beers' Bird Bags Biggie With the score tied at ones and the first place Llamas coming hard, Beers' enforcer Jeff Bird did his best Brett Hull impersonation by wristing a shot to the top right corner past a surprised Gord McChesney. From there, the Beers played the smart, defensive brand of hockey that captain Mike Topping has been looking for. "These guys are idiots", claims Topping "I've been telling them what to do all season and they just don't listen! Most nights we should be called The Deafs! But tonight was special - Pascoe, Jesse and Cleary all played smart, defensive hockey. And then. of course there was me. God I'm good!" Hot Plate Injuries Piling up With star center Ross Anderson on the shelf with a lower body injury, the Hotplates were dismayed to learn that stalwart defenseman may be lost for the year with a upper body injury. The Jihad were more than happy to capitalize on the depleted Plate lineup and build up a 7-2 lead before holding on for a 7-6 victory. During a ten minute stretch mid-way though the game, the Jihad roofed 4 beautiful goals behind a beseiged Paul Morgan who left the game wondering what happened to his defense. Winger John Gedney notched a hat-trick before nearly bursting several blood vessels in his temple when referee Tash Sundup dropped the puck quickly leading to the Hotplate's 6th goal. 11:14 AM 01/18/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK FOURTEEN Beers Cool Off Hotplate For the first time in 4 games vs. the Hotplate the Beers were able to earn a 4-3 victory. In truth, the Beers dominated from the outset and launced into a 3-0 lead before the game was 20 minutes old and then weathered a late storm with tender Chris Freisen making several big saves. McChesney Makes Ammends After severely letting down his team in week thirteen by putting family before hockey, Gordie was determined to bring respectability back to the Lama crease. McChesney then backed up a goodly amount of pre-game chatter by turning in a sparkling performance. The offence was provided by incoming free agent signing Eric Svokus who notched two goals and an assist. 2:21 PM 01/03/2009 NOTES FROM WEEK THIRTEEN Beers Missing in Action The Beers' biggest problem this year has been - without question - attendence. And exasperated captain Mike Topping has had enough. Following yet another dissapointing defeat - this time it was the Jihad who took advantage of the undermanned squad - Topping called a meeting with assistants Danny Sheehan and Jeff Pascoe. They are either looking for ways to get more guys showing up or shipping them out and finding reinforcements. Problems arise though when it comes to circumventing the cap and Topping and his cronies know it. Lama Suffer From Boxing Day Hangover The Lama showed up with a thin squad and little desire before going down 9-5 to the Hot Plate. Gord wasn't in net (I'm sure he would appreciate that being mentioned). Never the less, the Hot Plate were still able to put nine goals behind fill-in Chris Friesen with Ross Anderson and Erica Dymond having their best games in Whites. Star winger and newly named assistant captain Dave Dubbin also notched an impressive hat trick. Billy Breaks Bone; Bummer Lama captain Tash Sundup and the rest of his justifiably hated crew received some bad news this off-week when it was revealed that star center Billy had broken his knee cap - ouch. NOTES FROM WEEK TWELVE Lama; Bama! With only one loss in their past eight games, the Lama's haved surged to a commanding lead in the standings. This week's victory was extra sweet for the club who was rendered ruderless without captain Tash Sundup (decided to get drunk instead). As a matter of fact, the normally tibetan-heavy squad was without a single sherpa when Tash II couldn't make it either (decided to get drunk instead). Jihad Blow Another Late Lead It has been a disturbing trend for the Jihadists all year; build up a significant lead and look to be cruising to an easy victory, only to break down in the final minutes. Well, it happened again in week twelve when The Hotplate bagged two goals in the final 5 minutes to eke out a 4-4 tie. The score wasn't a surprise to the Plates seeing as they have managed to pot 4 goals (per outing) in 5 of their past 6 games (3 of those contests ending in 4-4 ties). As a matter of fact, The High Parkers are becoming widely associated with the number 4, much like Gretzky and 99, Satan and 666 or Tight and 2 inches. Teams to Remain Intact A few important decisions came out of the captains meetings last Thursday. Not the least of which is the move to keep the league as-is for the balance of the year. I'm sure there are more than a few of you out there who are saying "dammit, I was hoping to get on another team, the guys on my team are all very undesirable to be with!" Not to mention any names (Dubbin). The simple fact is; all the teams are filled with losers. NOTES FROM WEEK ELEVEN Hotplate Burn Beleaguered Beers Despite being in last place and being called by many pundits; "The worst team in league history", The High Park Hot Plate have enjoyed a somewhat curious domination over the second place Beers this season. Interestingly, following their week eleven victory, the Hotplate have two wins and two ties in the four games. Meanwhile, their record against the rest of the league is 1-4-2. You do the math*. *Seriously, that's not just a figure of speech, could someone do the math and get back to me. I mean, Math was never my strong suit ya know, like laguages or geography, sure no sweat, but math - forget it. I don't even know what math (if any) has to be done in this instance, that's how bad I am. Llama Ride on Well, The Jihad's four game winning streak is quickly becoming a distant memory. Going down to defeat for a second straight week, The Jihad gave up a 2-1 lead to the Lamas. Captains Meeting Sheduled You might have already noticed that a new trial schedule has been posted for the balance of the season (and if you haven't - why don't you care like you used to?). You might have also noticed that it appears we are keeping the current teams through May so I hope you like some the inbreds you're playing with. At any rate, the new schedule is only one of the topics to be voted on during this Thursday's captains meeting at the bar. Other topics to be discussed are; rule changes like adding icing, hiring a real referee, playoff system and "how good are these wings we're eating?". Trade Talk Heating Up The trade deadline has been set in the new schedule (march 4th at 3pm - which was quickly copied by the N.H.L. by the way) and it seems to have sparked some trade talks that have otherwise been dormant so far this season. Jihad It is believed that Mike Wright is looking for help on the Blueline but with the huge long term deals of players like Aaron Aikida and Chris Thomson it may be difficult to make a move. Hotplate Rumors are rampant management is working hard to make a deal sooner than later in an attempt to salvage the season which contradicts earlier speculation that they would tank games to get a lottery pick in next year's bumper-crop draft. The Beers G.M. Mike Topping seems quite content with his current roster but; "If some desperate team like the Hotplate comes to me with a great offer I'll jump on it. I'm always looking to make this club better." Llama Curiously, President and C.E.O. Tash Sundup is one of the more active trade talkers on the market despite having a first place club. Those close to him believe he's a an uber-nerd fantasy sports guy and he wants to extend that to real life. Critics have charged irresponsibiliy; "how can he just trade these guys on a whim", mentioned one unnamed G.M., "I mean they have families and homes. Tash is sinister. A very "untibetan Tibetan." 9:11 AM 12/14/2008 NOTES FROM WEEK TEN Jihad Quashed In one of the fastest games yet played in league history, The Beers were able to eke out a win vs. the red-hot Jihad and injured goaltender Mike Mayberry. "It's just one of those crazy things," said Mayberry who twisted his knee with ten minutes remaining; "No matter how much I work out and perfect my physique I guess everyone gets inured." Danny Sheehan potted the winner with only 2 minutes left on the clock with a floundering Mayberry out of the cage. Meanwhile, The Beers have quietly snuck back into a tie for top spot earning 5 points in their last 3 contests. Dubs Double Dips The oft-critisized signing of Dave Dubbin by Hot Plate captain Erica Dymond finally paid some dividends for the beleagered young lady this week. Early in the game, Dubbin who stated prior to taking the ice he would "just start throwing pucks at the net and hope for the best" succeeded in banking a puck off terrible Lama blueliner Marcel Janisse to tie the score at ones. Later, Dubbin would take it up a notch by beating a Lama backliner (probably Janisse again) and roofing his second of the game, alliciting ooos and ahhs from the sparse crowd. Not to be outdone, Lama reargaurd Craig Young found the back of the net twice including the tying marker with 8 minutes left. NOTES FROM WEEK NINE Revenge For Beers!
It was a long 3 weeks for Beers'captain Mike Topping. After all, he's a proud man and the last match-up vs. the hated Lamas ended in an embarrassing 8-3 defeat. So it was of little surprise when the Beers took an early lead and never let their foot off the pedal on route to a satisfying 8-1 rout of Tash Sundup's Lamas. The Jihad Unstoppable? The Hot Plate worked hard all game and turned it up another notch in the dying minute with goaltender Paul Morgan on the bench, but were unable to net the tying marker as the buzzer sounded. The 5-4 victory marks the Jihad's 4th consecutive and an unexpected rise to the top of the B.H.L. standings. NOTES FROM WEEK EIGHT Jihad Marches On Following an extremely slow start to the season, Mike Wright and his band of Jihadists have suddenly and rather unexpectedly rattled off 3 consecutive victories after a stunning 3-2 win over the first place Llama.. The local heroes from The Junction now sit alone in second place. Beers Spring Leak The Beers got off to a quick start this season and after the first three games looked to be the class of the league. However, since that time they are win-less, missing many of their star young talent along the way. Puck-moving defeceman Matt Cleary hasn't been in the lineup since game two. Meanwhile, ploding back-liner Jeff Pascoe missed several games with several bad excuses. So it was a big chance to get back on track this week when the met up with the lowly Hotplate. And looked as though it was going according to plan when little used winger Jeff Bird set up a goal and scored another as part of a 3-0 early lead. The game ended in a tie however when Mark Humphrey capped the comeback with only 20 seconds remaining. End in Sight for Late Match-ups! Week nine games, as many B.H.L.ers have no doubt noticed, are scheduled for 11:00 and 12:00 due to a Ryerson home game. That's the bad news. The good news is that this will be the last time this season we get screwed. And for many of the married guys out there - I mean that in more ways than one. NOTES FROM WEEK SEVEN Games were late (the second game ended about 1:15 AM Saturday morning - late!) and this
website's journalism department was either too drunk or too tired to file a story. Maybe it has something to do with the Garage party which lasted until
the wee hours of Saturday morning.
NOTES FROM WEEK SIX Hot Plate Arnott Able to Handle
Jihad
Hot Plate youngsters Jeff Arnott and Ross Anderson had perhaps their best outings of the season, buzzing around their much older opposition all night. However, when Arnott was rewarded for his hard work with a penalty shot mid way through the game , he was unable to convert. The call was not without it's controversy either. Al Kacharski, whom was fingered by Referee Tash Sundup for breaking up a scoring chance, accused the official of blatant racism. Kacharski, of Polish decent, cried "Would he have made the same call if I were Tibetan? Of course not!" Lama Dump Beers Following the biggest margin of victory in league history, the Lama were riding high. And why not, the team is on a three game winning steak (also a league record) and now sit alone atop the B.H.L. standings. NOTES FROM WEEK FIVE Bye Week Activities Announced
With next weeks games cancelled due to the holiest of all holidays, Halloween, B.H.L.ers are making plans to fill the void. Whilst the likes of Mike Topping and Johnny Samcoe have claimed they are going to learn a foreign language, Craig Young has simply said he will; "Chill. Pump iron. Chow five meats." Meanwhile, and rather more shockingly, Mike Mayberry has announced he will use the time to completely remove himself from the closet. Tie at the Top With the Hotplate's 5-2 win over the vaunted Beers and The Llamas triumph vs. the hapless Jihad a 3-way logjam has formed at the top of the standings. Not the type of three way that you're thinking - you filthy person! *nothing even close to this was actually parroted by Mr. Parrot Gordie a Goodie Two straight wins and a league leading Goals Against (not to mention Gord's consistant bragging), have left this media outlet with no choice but to acknowledge these accomplishments. The 1st goalie chosen in the entry draft, Gordie has quickly proven to be Tash's best selection by leading an under-skilled Lama squad to the top of the standings. *EVENT ANNOUCEMENT* Halloween night at Brydens. I think that's pretty self explanitory. *Be Warned* Janisse says he is gonna be there. NOTES FROM WEEK FOUR Lorenzo Lamas Mos Macho!
The Lamas entered their battle with the Hotplate with a great deal to prove. Team captain Tash Sundup was apparently able to convey this to his otherwise detached and indifferent crew because they came out flying and built a 4-0 lead and hung on for a 4-1 victory. The win pulls the Lama into a tie with The Hotplate for second place. Nathan "Parrots" Virtues of League Jihad G.M. Mike Wright has been working night and day to improve his last place team and, at least for one week, was able to pull off some magic by signing former Maple Leaf Nathan Parrot. Parrot netted two in the Jihad's 6-6 tie with The Beers then called the Brydens Hockey League; "Perhaps the best league I've ever played in."* *nothing even close to this was actually parroted by Mr. Parrot Bird Spearheads Comeback Trailing 6-3 and without star defenceman Jeff Pascoe, The Beers prospects looked bleak this week. However, veterans Mike Topping, Jeff Bird and Sleep Country Tom found an unexpected second wind and fought back to earn a point. As a matter of fact, with a little luck, Bird could have earned his team another point as he buzzed around the net until the end. *EVENT ANNOUCEMENT* High Park Hotplate fringe defenceman Mike Lackey has announced that he and life partner Mike Wright are holding a "meet and greet" at their "family" home at 676 Beresford following next weeks games. Don't BYOB. All B.H.L.ers welcome - even the stupid refs. NOTES FROM WEEK THREE Hotplate Burn Jihad
The boys and girls from the darkend streets and back alleys of High Park fought back from a 4-2 deficit to defeat the Jihad. The Jihad's captain, whom wishes to be referred to only as "Tight" says it was a lack of communicaton that led to the loss. Apparently the Jihad defence started pinching when they believed they were down 3-1. Unfortunately, they actually led 4-2 at the time and the Hotplate quickly netted 4 goals. If history has tought us anything it is that Jihads never succeed unless they are a just a touch better organized. Hump - Lackey Rivalry Hits the B.H.L. The long lasting, oft personal and vicious battle betwixt Mark Humphrey and Pete Lackey once again reared its ugly head this week in the formally friendly little B.H.L.. As a matter of fact, it appears that neither will bother showing up to the rink unless they are playing each other. "Big Nick" Saves Beers The Beers came into their week three matchup vs. The Llamas as heavy favorites. After all, the Llamas were going to be missing star defenceman Mark Junjohann after team officials controvesially suspended the German for missing the previous game. However, The Llamas were able to keep the score tied until Beers center Big Nick bulged the old onion bag with only 2 minutes remaining. Sponsor Delivers Devilishly League beer sponsor Great Lakes Brewery turned some heads last week when they sent the new Devils Pale Ale hearse to the post game soiree. The brewery has also announced that they will hold the winter banquet on February 13th -stay tuned- details to follow. NOTES FROM WEEK TWO Tie Two On!
If there was any doubts as to the parity of the league, those were erased this week when both games finished tied. The Llamas took an early 3-0 lead in game one, only to see the Jihad fight back to earn a tie at 4s. In the second game, Jeff Pascoe netted a blast late in the game to hand The Beers a point in a 3-3 tie with High Park, which kept his club alone atop the standings. Captians Lead by Example Team captians stood front and center in week two scoring a combined 4 goals. Tash Sundup of the Llamas kicked it off with the first goal of the night. Not to be outdone, Jihadist Mike Wright was instrumental in his clubs comeback, netting two. Later, Erica Dymond was able to bang one home to earn a tie for The Hoplate. All of this scoring leaves The Beers' Mike Topping as the only Captain unable to find the score sheet. Embarrassing. Young Returns - Things Heat Up Craig Young's first appearance in the Brydens Hockey League coincided with the first chippy match, which led to much post-game talk of whether there was any correlation. While Craig himself maintained that the talk was not only "off-base" and "disrepectful" but simply "worthy of beatings". Others disagreed. The Captain of the Jihad, whom requested to remain nameless, was heard muttering; "Cheap Bastard, if only that ref had some balls we would have spent the entire game on the power play". *EVENT ANNOUCEMENT* The High Park Hot Plate's star winger Chuck Jewell has spearheaded next week's "Octoberfest Tailgate" in the parking lot. Enjoy a hotdog and a beer while you get to know your fellow leaguemates. NOTES FROM WEEK ONE
Beers Douse Jihadists
The Beers came out flying in the first game in league history and were able to hold off a late charge from The Jihad to brew up a 5-2 victory and claim an early perch atop the standings. "Tiger" Tash? League officials were shocked when the early favorite for The Lady Byng, Tash Sundup, took the first penalty in league history. Referee Mike Wright chalked up the Tibetan for tripping mid way throught the game. It was the only punishable infraction of week one. Anderson Takes Early Stab at Masterton The Bill Masterton trophy*, which is awarded anually to "the player who best represents a dedication to the game" may have been locked up early by Ross Anderson of the Hot Plate. Ross bravely returned to finish the game after a violent and bloody high speed collision with a nazi. *Note: There is no actualy trophy nor (come to think of it) any such award. Haha, Anderson - Masterton, that kinda rhymes!
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